It's ok if you're sad, I was too...
No one wants the hard bits of life. The pain, grief, and disappointment.
No one wants to be let down. Life can be gut-wrenching and cruel.
No one wants to see their dreams die. To feel like we’re missing out on something amazing.
No one wants to feel hopeless and fearful of the future.
No one wants it.
I had (and still have) those unwanted things and I decided to draw a line in the sand.
No more.
No more feeling a victim.
No more jealously, bitterness and resentment.
No more hiding.
No more feeling small.
No more being at the mercy of my emotions.
My Story
In 2017 I started to want the baby dream.
By 2019 I was depressed, anxious, angry and sad.
By September 2020 I hit my rock-bottom and decided enough was enough.
I was done. Done with feeling like I had a gambling addiction, “Just one more cycle…”. I was done with surgeries, procedures, tracking ovulation and enduring the two-week wait.
I was done with triggers and done with grief.
Infertility was a fog of confusion, depression, and hopelessness. My identity in tatters, my dreams dying and hope for the future further out of reach than ever. So, I decided I was done. For all I cared the diagnosis of unexplained infertility could stay unexplained. Endometriosis could get lost too.
I decided to make a change.
I decided, one step at a time to see the sun. To try to see what I did have in my hands and what useful thing I could do with it. I’m not talking about looking on the bright side, being thankful for, or finding something else to mother. That’s not for me.
I decided to look at what I could do ‘right now’, today, with my God given gifts and talents to feel fulfilled and have hope that somehow the future is going to be better than it is today.
And guess what, some things in my life didn’t get better, in fact they got worse.
It turned out to be an advantage that I made peace with my childlessness (maybe those aren’t the right words, perhaps acknowledged or accepted is better) when I did. As every option of being a mum slammed shut in my face there was grief, big grief, and also opportunities for growth. Post-traumatic growth.
My values, plan and purpose now are to help women process their grief (and stress) to come out the other side wiser, healthier and with eye-wide-open to the possibilities for a wonderful future. I want women to see their dignity and worth. To understand their identity in the light of who they are made to be, not who they feel they aren’t. I might be childless not by choice but never without choices and certainly not less.
If you’re interested in chatting about how I might be able to help you, contact me here.
You might find more answers to your questions in the FAQ section here.
Here’s to you. The one who got a whole lot of stuff you never wanted, and who’s ready to write a new chapter.
Cheers and big hugs,
Anna
Meet the Team -
The hobbies and interests that keep my hands busy and my heart full
I'm an Australian Registered Counsellor with a special interest in helping women come to terms with and health from grief and loss in their lives. I have a special heart for issues around reproductive grief and loss, that is, any losses that are connected to infertility, childlessness and pregnancy loss.
Member No 21185
